Raising children is a beautiful yet demanding journey. Muslim parents, entrusted with the precious souls of their children, often grapple with the best approach to nurture their faith, character, and overall well-being. Islam, as a complete way of life, offers a wealth of guidance on this matter.
This article explores five core principles of Islamic parenting that can empower Muslim families to raise well-rounded, successful children who contribute positively to both their families and communities.
The Significance of Islamic Upbringing
The Quran and the teachings of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) emphasize the immense responsibility parents hold towards their children. Children are considered a trust (amanah) from Allah, gifts entrusted to parents to be nurtured with love, guidance, and Islamic values.
The ultimate goal is to raise productive and God-fearing individuals who not only excel in this life but are also prepared for the Hereafter. These children become assets to their families and contribute meaningfully to the Ummah (Muslim community) as a whole.
5 Pillars of Islamic Parenting
1. Children Possess an Inherent Goodness (Fitrah):
This Hadith of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) emphasizes that children are born with a natural inclination towards good and a belief in one God. Therefore, misbehavior in young children often stems from their environment and lack of understanding. Instead of blaming young children for mistakes, parents should view these moments as opportunities for gentle guidance and teaching.
“No child is born except on al-fitra (Islam or primordial human nature) and then his parents make him Jewish, Christian or Magian, as an animal produces a perfect young animal: do you see any part of its body amputated?” [Sahih Muslim]
2. Parents as Role Models and Guides:
Just as a shepherd guides his flock, parents have a responsibility to lead and guide their children. Children are highly observant and learn most effectively by imitating the behavior of those around them, especially their parents. This underscores the importance of parents setting a positive example by embodying the Islamic values they wish to instill in their children.
“Everyone of you is a guardian and is responsible for his charges. The ruler who has authority over people, is a guardian and is responsible for them; a man is a guardian of his family and is responsible for them; a woman is a guardian of her husband’s house and children and is responsible for them; a slave is a guardian of his master’s property and is responsible for it; so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your charges.” [Sahih al-Bukhari]
3. Kindness and Mercy Pave the Way:
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was renowned for his kindness and compassion, even towards children. He encouraged playful interaction and understood the importance of play in a child’s development. Similarly, fostering a loving and nurturing environment through physical affection is crucial throughout childhood. Positive reinforcement through praise and encouragement is far more effective in shaping behavior than harsh punishment.
It was narrated from ‘Abdullah bin Shaddad that his father said: “The Messenger of Allah came out to us for one of the nighttime prayers, and he was carrying Hasan or Husain . The Messenger of Allah came forward and put him down, then he said the Takbir and started to pray. He prostrated during his prayer, and made the prostration lengthy.” My father said: “I raised my head and saw the child on the back of the Messenger of Allah while he was prostrating so I went back to my prostration. When the Messenger of Allah finished praying, the people said: “O Messenger of Allah , you prostrated during the prayer for so long that we thought that something had happened or that you were receiving a revelation.’ He said: ‘No such thing happened. But my son was riding on my back and I did not like to disturb him until he had had enough.” [Sunan an-Nasa’i]
In another hadith narrated by`Aisha ,
A bedouin came to the Prophet and said, “You (people) kiss the boys! We don’t kiss them.” The Prophet said, “I cannot put mercy in your heart after Allah has taken it away from it.” [Sahih al-Bukhari]
4. Boundaries Provide a Safe Framework:
Just as a garden thrives with defined borders, children require clear boundaries to understand acceptable behavior. These boundaries provide a sense of security and help children navigate the world around them.
The key is to establish age-appropriate rules and explain their purpose in a clear and loving manner. This fosters a sense of responsibility and helps children make positive choices.
“Verily Allah the Almighty has laid down fara’id (religious obligations), so do not neglect them. He has set boundaries, so do not overstep them. He has prohibited some things, so do not violate them; about some things He was silent, out of compassion for you, not forgetfulness, so seek not after them.” [Hadith Nawawi]
5. Instilling Responsibility Builds Character:
Assigning age-appropriate chores and tasks empowers children with a sense of accomplishment and independence. Taking responsibility for one’s actions is a valuable life skill, and parents can begin by assigning small tasks that gradually increase in complexity as the child matures. This instills a sense of purpose and teaches valuable lessons about accountability and contribution to the family unit.
“Nay, and by the moon, And by the night when it withdraws, And by the dawn when it brightens, Verily, it is but one of the greatest calamities. A warning to mankind, To any of you that chooses to go forward (by doing righteous deeds), or to remain behind (by committing sins), Every person is beheld (accountable) on his own deeds.” [Qur’an: Chapter 74, Verses 32-38]
These principles serve as a roadmap for Muslim parents. Reflect on each principle and consider its practical application within your family. Discuss these concepts openly with your spouse and children, creating a shared understanding and commitment to implementing them in your daily routines.
Remember, successful parenting is a journey, not a destination. By embracing these Islamic principles and fostering a loving and supportive environment, Muslim parents can raise children who are a source of pride in this world and a source of reward in the Hereafter.
